Needed.

Street evangelism. I would say that hooking up a microphone to a big speaker and preaching the gospel loudly to the masses isn’t typically my first choice of ministry. But this week it brought me something extra special.

On Wednesday, my team and I left the church where we were serving to do evangelism . We didn’t have any details about where we were going or really what we were going to be doing. All we knew was that we were carrying a big speaker and we had a ways to walk. So we strapped on our Chacos and began walking. When we arrived at an apartment complex about 30 minutes from the church, I felt out of place. The pastor began to set up his big speaker & microphone and began preaching in Spanish. And to be honest, I felt pretty uncomfortable at first. I felt like we had just invaded these people’s homes at 7:30 at night to preach to them uninvited. I felt intrusive and not needed.

As the pastor finished speaking, we went around and lit our candles. The wind kept blowing out the candles, but we finally got a few lit. And it was time to pray. But there weren’t really any people. It was mainly just kids around. And then I saw a woman in her apartment. She lived on the first floor. She had bars on her window. But the window was cracked. She was talking with her son outside. And I felt led to go pray with her. So I did. And I had no idea how much the next 10 minutes would affect my perspective.

In my broken Spanish I asked her, “Puedo orar para ti?” (Can I pray for you?). And she reluctantly agreed. I began praying in English and I felt some inexplainable draw towards this woman. I didn’t even know her name, but Jesus had given me a special heart for her. I felt led to engage in conversation, which sounds pretty daunting when you don’t share the same language. But I wanted to know her. Lori Elena. We talked about her kids, when she moved, and the muchas problemas (many problems) at the apartment complex. So I asked about her name, her kids, when she moved into the apartment complex. She told me about the lack of water – that she had to travel up and up to get to water. She talked about the floor in her apartment and the lights. And even though I couldn’t understand everything she said, I could understand that she was hurting. And her life was hard. So I asked her if I could pray for the water. But she didn’t want me to. All she wanted was prayer for her kids.
Up to this point I had kept my emotions mostly out of our encounter. It was time to leave so I kindly told her it was nice to meet her and we left. But on our walk back I realized that I wasn’t okay. I began sharing about my new friend, Lori Elena, with my teammate. And in sharing I realized that I was sad, but I was also frustrated. Through my tears, I voiced my frustrations that there are people hurting with no Jesus, no hope, no water and I somehow got everything. I have Jesus. I have hope. I have water. I have a good family and sweet friends. And the fact of the matter is that some people don’t. And I questioned God. This isn’t fair. This place is full of darkness. I will probably never see Lori Elena again. And even though I only just met her – I care for her so deeply.

And in all my frustrations the Lord met me with the truth. “She is my child too,” he said. And in all of Lori Elena’s pain and struggles he has never left her. And as much as I care for her, imagine how much more deeply her Heavenly Father sees and cares for her. There is no better place to leave Lori Elena than in the careful hands of her Father. So I felt the Lord asking me “Do I trust Him. Do I trust His plan?” And I wanted to wholeheartedly say yes. But I needed to spend some time remembering His plan.

So what is the Lord’s plan? How is he working in all the darkness that is our world? Where is he? How is he planning to reconcile all His people back to him?

The answer is ME. And it’s YOU. The Lord’s plan revolves around His people. He has chosen to include His children in His plan. He has chosen to reveal Himself to each of us so that we can go out and spread His good news. He has chosen to give us gifts that we can pour back out to serve Him. He has chosen to need us. He has chosen to need YOU. And through all the tears and hurt, the Lord gently reminded me of the urgency of the gospel. He gave me His eyes to see Lori Elena like He does. He gave me His mercy to feel for her. He gave me His urgency to shift my perspective. To point me back to the Kingdom.

You, my friend, are needed. Your gifts are needed. Your perspective is needed. Your voice is needed. YOU are needed. Because people need the hope you carry. And our Lord, in all His splendor and glory, has chosen to need us in His plan.